The Dumpster Gang coffee mission has one step you cannot skip: starting the coffee maker summons John, and he walks over, stands next to the machine until the coffee is ready, and then drinks it. The fix is to stun him, take the pot while he is down, and drink it out of sight.

The Dumpster Gang coffee mission: why the coffee disappears

The house mission's coffee objective works like this: you start the coffee maker, a pot appears, and John comes over and stands there until the coffee is finished. Then he drinks it. He is not doing it to be difficult — standing next to the machine is what he does while it runs.

There is a second way the pot goes missing. After he has drunk a pot he may carry it off and hide it somewhere in the house, so an empty coffee maker does not always mean the objective failed. Look for the pot inside before you restart the machine.

The developers have said they are still adjusting the balance around this fight before the December 3 launch, so the timings may still move.

The four-step coffee run

  1. Start the coffee maker and wait for the pot to appear.
  2. Stun John. Any throwable object or a melee weapon that connects with him stuns him — the pick up and throw guide lists what counts as a throwable.
  3. Grab the pot while he is stunned and run off with it.
  4. Drink it somewhere out of sight, such as the small space under the stairs. The objective does not care where you drink it, only that John does not get it.

Pulling John away instead

You do not always have to fight him over the pot. Playing an instrument such as the trumpet in another room draws him off, and in co-op the clean version is one player playing while the other grabs the pot.

Two conditions apply to that plan. The instrument only works as a lure when John is not busy with a running machine, so it is no use against the coffee maker itself. And a solo player cannot split the job, so the usual solo line is to start the coffee first so that he arrives when it is nearly done, then slip away with it. Either way, the stealth guide covers the hiding places and the noise that gives you away.